#16 – Coaching Annelie: Healing the Fear of Being Seen

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Transcription of the episode

EPISODE TEASER

“-The feeling I had as a child was being forced to jump in a pit with snakes.”

”- I feel it.”

”- I had to do it every day.”

”- I can imagine all this sensation coming up when you make yourself visible with your work.”

”- Yes, exactly. It’s like the fear of the snakes again, but also the mind says, No, that’s ridiculous.”

EPISODE SUMMARY: Fear of being seen when you need to be visible to succeed!

This episode is for you if you are facing visibility challenges. Of course, when we are an entrepreneur or have our own business, are selling our services. If we have difficulties being visible, it’s hard to attract clients. So this mini introduction I just did makes it seem very much a business topic, but as it often happens when I work with clients, we are not going to work on business strategies at all. 

We are going to work more inside on healing what stops us from being visible why we are afraid of being visible. And this inner healing that is needed is often having a huge impact on just us being successful in the project we are birthing. In this coaching session, I’m supporting Analee, who is a projector, Profile 1. 3. A projector, to be successful, really needs to be seen. Visibility on the top is even more important for a projector. Of course, for any entrepreneur, how do you make yourself visible is a key question, but even more for a projector because they need to be seen, to be invited into projects, to be invited to share their genius, their brilliance. Here you will hear about Annaly’s challenge. It’s again a very emotional session, a very deep, I was going to say coaching session. I use this word to make it simple, but we do energy work, we do coaching. It’s more than just a discussion. We work on a body level. You will see something I talk a lot about also in previous episodes is we can’t figure it out all through the mind. At some point, we need to feel what’s happening in our body so that we can really make the shift happen with desire.

If you haven’t done it yet, I highly encourage you to create your free human design profile. Just type it to Google, take your birth information, create your own profile so that maybe you will make connections as a projector or as a one, three. Bion, it will probably invite you to dive more into a human design. Now that I am offering human design readings, I will put the link as well in the description so that you can book your own session. This is a very powerful tool, even more when it’s combined with energy work to make the shifts happen that are needed. I hope you are going to enjoy this session as every episode, and I see you in the conclusion. 

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT: Healing your fear of visibility to be able to shine by being your true self

Gloria:
Welcome, Annelie. I would love to hear what brings you to this coaching session.

Annelie:
Thank you for having me, Gloria. It’s an honor. I have been struggling a bit with, you could say, my career, but it’s more like, how should I explain this? I was working as a development engineer for many years, and then I got severely burn out. I had to make a change, and I tried working as a functional medicine coach, and it just didn’t fit me right, but I still have my company. But now I want to work with something that is aligned to my interests. I have a lot of interests. I am working with philosophy. I’m working with author molecular medicine. I am writing novels, and I have two novels on the Swedish market. But I think it’s very difficult for me to reach out, get customers, making myself heard, because I’m more like the investigator, the person writing, figuring things out. I don’t really have the skills to reach out to people, and I’m struggling with that because I really would like to make a living out of my interests.

Gloria:
I have some questions to make sure we have a good understanding of the current situation. You mentioned you want to, of course, earn from your passions and your interests. First, before talking about money, what would you offer or what are you already offering? How does it look like, what you are interested in and what could be interesting for clients?

Annelie:
Yes, I have two books out in the market, and they are at the different e… Do you say e-stores? Internet Bookstores?

Gloria:
Yeah. I’m pleased to understand internet stores.

Annelie:
They are available for everyone to order, but my problem is to be seen. I don’t know exactly how to manage to make people discover my books. I have an Instagram account where I try, but it’s not easy for me. I recently started a YouTube channel where I talk about more philosophical matters. I have research the simulation theory and the code behind the simulation theories. I’m presenting that on YouTube, but it’s the same thing. I’m trying, but it’s like I can see the goal in front of me, but I can’t reach it. Do you understand?

Gloria:
Yes. Which to clarify as a Human design is you are a projector. As a projector, it’s super important to be seen so that you can have success. You are fully in the topic of the projector. I just want to say that so that we have that as a context, and we’ll come back to that. To understand a bit more your specific situation. You started to be visible on social media so that you can advertise yourself. What are you talking about on Instagram, on YouTube? Are you more, and now I’m diving into your profile, so you are one three. If I make it super simple, the line one is about the knowledge, sharing the knowledge, also teaching. And the line three is more about your experiences and sharing about your experiences. Do you use both of the aspects in your communication? Yes. How do you communicate?

Annelie:
I used to write some posts with, it could be what I discovered, it could be what my thoughts have been, it could be something I experienced during my years as an engineer. I think it resonates a lot with who I am.

Gloria:
Great. That’s what you are sharing about, talking about. You told me one is already selling your books, and then you said having clients. What do you help clients with?

Annelie:
As a functional medicine coach, the thing I offer my clients, it’s health coaching. I help them to see the road causes to their illnesses and how to make them feel better with simple changes and supplementals and so on. That’s one of my jobs. I am more inclined to write I’m a bit everywhere right now, but I’m writing my fictional books. I am making a report within the simulation theory topic. I am also writing a report about orthomolecule or medicine, and these are supposed to end up in scientific papers.

Gloria:
Yes. It’s interesting because at the beginning, you told me I would like to have potentially more clients, and you told me I’m trained as a coach in functional medicine, but that doesn’t fully suit me.

Annelie:
No, it’s fine. But I figured that my personality isn’t the coaching personality. I’m more of a teacher. I’m not the teacher either. If you’re more of a lecturer, someone who comes to the university, talks about the topic and then leaves. That’s who I am.

Gloria:
Great. Already, that’s a very good step because we can be trained as a coach and we’ve done the certification, But then we realize, actually, that doesn’t suit me. So perfect. Do you have then more teacher offers about functional medicine, like programs where you’re not coaching, but really teaching them?

Annelie:
No. Right now, I don’t have a fully functioning website. I have honestly been focusing more on my writing and the scientific reports I’m writing. My functional medicine coaching has set aside for a while.

Gloria:
Okay. There, again, I hear the same as you said before is you could get clients for functional medicine, but at least in the last month, years, maybe, it wasn’t at the forefront and you are more focused on the research side.

Annelie:
Yes.

Gloria:
Do you want to invest, engage your energy into functional medicine, or is it something that, for now, at least, is… Or do you want to move with that topic? That’s the question.

Annelie:
I’m not comfortable with… How to say it. I have to say I like the job in within functional medicine, but I’m not fully comfortable chasing customers. I’m also more interested in my research topics.

Gloria:
I keep what you just said. I’m coming back to it a bit later. How do you see yourself making money or earning on you from your research?

Annelie:
I have a picture in my mind where I get some reports published in scientific papers and then perhaps lecturing about the topics later on. But it’s not 100% clear, and I’m also talking about it in my YouTube channel. I also thought about making videos in English to widen the market.

Gloria:
There are different things that are coming to my mind. So I’m sorting out what makes more sense for you right now.

Annelie:
I’m a bit complicated.

Gloria:
No, not at all. I have different avenues we can go. I’m trying to feel into… Because if I explain just what’s in my mind is, one is, okay, I’m not comfortable with chasing clients because that’s not the project away. It’s not chasing clients. It’s really about making yourself visible so that people are attracted to you. They’re like, wow, Analee, she just shared about that. I want to know more. If I would make an example, and that’s why I ask you about functional medicine, it could be, okay, if you have a little program or something like a step by step to the challenges that people face. You’ve been trained. I know you have a lot of knowledge, so you know your topic. It’s okay, I can have a little program. It can be something very simple. It can be written because you It can be writing, it can be videos, or just whatever you want around a real problem that people have. But that means that there is one thing is the program so people can enroll and it doesn’t need your energy, your time, because you want to spend maybe 80, 90% of your time more on research, on writing.

Gloria:
You need to have something you’re selling, and you need to have a system in place so that you can make yourself visible so that people can get a taste of, Hey, really, how she talks about functional medicine, she seems to have solution to my problem. But then there is the double question. That’s why I asked you, How do you want to move with that topic? One is, would need you to create the offer, and it would need you to create a system or communication around it so that people hear about it. From what you said, I feel, and tell me now, I feel that’s not an alley you want to go into. At least it’s not aligned for you today.

Annelie:
I feel a bit stressful in my heart when I’m thinking about Not that, actually.

Gloria:
That was my sensation before was, okay, is it really… And maybe there is a mix sometimes. Is it really the topic or is it more what you’ve associated it with, which is actually I’ve tired myself too many times around trying to find clients. Maybe at the beginning was because I would try to coach. Now, at least you’ve gained experience. Okay, I’m not a coach, which is already a very big, important step. You can teach about the topic. Imagine you have friends coming over or just people you meet and they start asking questions like, Do you feel, I was going to say passionate. It doesn’t mean you don’t have to be super emotional. Just like, do you like sharing about the topic if people start asking?

Annelie:
Yeah. I always talk with friends. They ask me a question. I have a friend, she have a nickname for me. She calls me the Encyclopedaya. I love sharing. Okay.

Gloria:
Here, as you talk, I see also your smile. I’m like, Ah. Actually, there, it is still of interest to you. It’s more about with the line free. Sometimes it’s really hard because you have this feeling, Okay, I failed, I don’t know, in attracting customers or this repetitive trial and error. Sometimes at some point it’s like, Okay, I just want to let go because this is too exhausting or I’m tired of trying. It It doesn’t work. Let’s move on. Leave it and do something else.

Annelie:
Exactly.

Gloria:
Which might be aligned, or maybe there is something else that needs to shift or you can learn from so that you adjust it in a way that it works for you. But I can fully understand this feeling of, wow, I’ve tried. It doesn’t work. Let’s move on.

Annelie:
Yeah, I think you’re right because I think this underlying pressure in the society is to make a living in a certain way. And me, as a projector, I don’t quite fit in. I don’t really know, how should I do? How should I come in contact with people? How should I make them see me? It’s hard. I think that’s the underlying problem for everything I do.

Gloria:
Great. Already, you phrasing it, saying it is important. I want to reflect back the word you used. You said, How should I do? If I shift the should, What verb would you use?

Annelie:
I don’t know.

Gloria:
If I say, How would you like it to do? How would it feel good for you to do it?

Annelie:
Yes, you’re right. For me, the feeling I would like is this wave coming to me, towards me, and I just have to open my arms. That’s the feeling I want.

Gloria:
Great. I love what you just said. I don’t know if you’ve ever studied your arrows arrows in your human design. The arrows are on the top. You have four arrows, and I’m not going to go into the details, but some are related to your environment. One is called sometimes by human design, the manifestation arrow.

Annelie:
I haven’t studied them so closely.

Gloria:
Okay. You have a right arrow. The arrow can look to the left or to the right side. And your manifestation is a right arrow. And that means, and you did it naturally. So again, human design is always we know already, it’s about trusting our way. You said, The feeling I would like is people coming to me. I open my arms and then I’m there for them, but they come to me. The way for you to manifest something is really to go into the feeling. You don’t need to have the details As sometimes it’s said in, I don’t know, marketing business courses about exactly know how many clients you would like to have. Like make a very detailed picture. It’s more about, How would I like this process of acquiring client to feel. Just this image you use because it was super present, is something you could do on a daily basis or regularly every week if you feel like closing your eyes and just imagining People come to you, how does it feel if you don’t have to make all this effort? You shared your knowledge, your experience, and people felt like, Wow, I want to know more.

Gloria:
And then they knock on your door or whichever is the image for you, and you just welcome them and you start answering questions, and then they can benefit from your experience and your knowledge.

Annelie:
I feel grateful. I feel relaxed. It feels naturally for me to do that. Yeah, exactly. That’s how I want it to be.

Gloria:
This exercise will help you to shift your frequency from, How should I do it? It’s not working. I don’t know how to do it. I’m tired of chasing clients. Because from that energy, you feel it, you know it. We cannot move, we cannot create. Tuning into that vision, image, metaphor you had, just going into there without having the expectation of, Okay, but now how is it going to happen? Just that as one exercise that I propose you to shift your energy and your frequency. Now, there’s another super important thing because what I hear from our conversation, to bring it back, what comes up, almost I have a sensation of… I don’t know if it’s shame, you tell me, or something you feel awkward doing that. It doesn’t feel comfortable for you. The finding client side.

Annelie:
I have had some blockage inside me about being visible. It’s not shame, it’s more about confidence, I think. I have stretched my comfort zone a lot the last year. I started a YouTube channel and I just said to myself, screw it. If they think I look stupid, then fine. I don’t care. But It was a big step for me. Also just the posting pictures of myself on Instagram has been a big step because I wasn’t comfortable about that either. I have been more about the behind-the-scenes person, and now I’m trying to step up on the scene instead. That is a bit awkward.

Gloria:
Yeah, exactly. I have this sensation. I can’t put the exact word because I feel it in your field. That’s why I said, yeah, awkward. Or is it shyness would you say?

Annelie:
Yeah, maybe shyness. I think it’s also about childhood trauma. I was bullied as a child and thought I was completely worthless. That’s something that takes time to heal, I think.

Gloria:
I want you to just take a little break to celebrate the fact that you’ve already done this big step with the fear maybe that came up through your trauma. Just, okay, I’ve opened the YouTube channel, I’ve done the Instagram I count, I’m posting, I’m sharing. Of course, I understand that there is maybe one part of you that is impatient and says, okay, and now what comes?

Annelie:
Exactly.

Gloria:
Do you feel like diving more into what you just shared about visibility? Absolutely.

Annelie:
I feel like that is a key.

Gloria:
Yes. Especially as a projector. Because I see you, once people are around you or are asking questions, I feel you are very comfortable. It’s like, of course, I know what I’m talking about. Of course, I have experience. I’ve researched this and that for a long time, and I like them to share my knowledge. Also, you have the defined Ajna and the defined throat, which are connected, and that’s very much also the teacher giving solutions that people are looking for. You can bring people this certainty that they might not have. It’s like you have fantastic qualities and that I see you are using. The step is more before. Once you’re in there, you go.

Annelie:
Yeah, exactly.

Gloria:
Again, I have this, Okay, Gloria, how should I move to be visible? Which is really not the way we want to move. What are the fears that come up? You started to talk about, When I was a kid, I was bullied, so I Are you not worthless? Can you paint me the picture of what does it mean? When you think about visibility, what comes up? What association came up for you?

Annelie:
I had never doubted my inner qualities, but I always doubted my outer qualities. I’m doubting that the people seeing me in real life might think, Oh, she’s not attractive. She doesn’t look smart, or whatever it could be. So that could be a blockage for Of course, I know it’s not the mindset. It’s not true, but the feeling is that old feeling of not being worthy.

Gloria:
Exactly. That’s something I talk a lot about is, okay, your head, you can explain things, you understand them. But as long as the feeling inside of the body hasn’t shifted, the reality is not changing. To make sure I get what you say, can you give me an example when you say, I don’t doubt my inner qualities, but I doubt my outer qualities. You doubt the capacity, the ability of people to see your inner qualities, to see you.

Annelie:
Yes, exactly. If they just see a picture of me, do they realize who I am or do they just see the face? I’m not comfortable. If they just see my face, do they really understand who I am? Can they see me? Or are they just seeing someone who’s not enough?

Gloria:
Is that a question of appearance? What do you mean with outer qualities? It’s really more like how you look or is there something else?

Annelie:
Yeah, how I look, how I behave. Maybe I have some quirks that isn’t socially acceptable. It’s very difficult for me to know exactly how to behave sometimes and what’s attractive in a marketing.

Gloria:
Now you are formulating exactly the sensation I had before. I couldn’t yet put words on it. Just to reflect back, the word you used said how to behave. As if there was one way to behave. That’s where the sensation inside of you or the split with your inner you starts, which is, Okay, am I supposed to do this, do that? And that’s where you feel you’re not anymore on a solid ground.

Annelie:
Yes.

Gloria:
That’s Where, of course, people, even though they can’t phrase it, will feel in your energy like there is something awkward and there is this thing. Then I feel in the middle, you have an interaction and there’s something in between you. It’s almost like, I don’t know how you would describe it, actually. Just to give a picture, it’s almost suddenly there is a bit more fog. So your qualities and the clarity of how you communicate your knowledge you are able to share suddenly is hidden behind this fog. Yeah, Exactly.

Annelie:
That was almost what I tried to explain in the beginning. I see the goal, but I can’t reach it. It’s like something comes in between.

Gloria:
Where does it come from this belief that your natural way of behaving, of appearing, of being cannot lead you to success? What is there?

Annelie:
I’ve always been a misfit in school. It’s hard to know why I was bullied, but I always been a misfit in this structure that’s in school, in corporate organizations and so on, because I have not the same… How to explain it? I’m an explorative learner, so I need to see the whole picture before I dive in. I get bored if I have to do those foundational tasks first without knowing exactly what it will lead to in the end. All those years in school, it was a misfit for me because I didn’t get great grades because I thought, Why should I make an effort to do this? It’s boring. It doesn’t make sense. The whole society is built around that structure. It’s very hard for me to know how should I be, how should I communicate with all those people that is perfect in that structure.

Gloria:

You are exactly describing the challenge of many neurodivergent people. Yeah. Here, I propose you a new path. As long as you are going to try to fit that structure, you’re always going to feel the misfit. And we go back to that sensation that we were putting into words. So it’s never going to work. You probably know this image of, okay, you are a square and you try to put a circle inside or start whatever. It’s never going to work.

Annelie:

I think that was part of my burn out. I was coping and coping and masking and trying to make everything work. I did all those mundane tasks and I just did it, and then I couldn’t anymore suddenly.

Gloria:

Here you are using a super important word, which is masking, that is also very much used in the neurodivergent world. It’s a good image, I think, for the step you need to do right now. As long as you are wearing the mask, people cannot fully trust you. They cannot feel into who you really are, the magic you are offering. They feel there is something awkward. If the mask is gone, then it’s suddenly, Oh, wow. Then they can see you shining.

Annelie:

Yeah, I’m trying. I have been much better at just being who I am. I also noticed that when I am just me being authentic, then I am a magnet for the right people to come to me.

Gloria:

You hear that? Just what you said. This is key. This is powerful how you phrase it. It’s like, okay, when I’m myself, I am a magnet. So you see, that’s the way. When you say How should I? How do I need to behave? No, that’s not the path.

Annelie:

Just be myself.

Gloria:

Exactly. And there is a belief that needs to shift, which is, and we’ll check how to allow yourself to be more yourself. There is a belief, which, again, is very much shared by many of my clients, and I can fully relate to it, too, is, okay, it’s almost you look at there’s this system, this structure, like how most of society works. As you said, I see how people perfectly fit into this structure, and I’m still trying to figure out how can I fit. It’s exhausting. It leads to burnout as you described it. So there is still the belief of I need to fit like the people. I need to be like they are so that I can have success. So of course, you will never allow yourself to be yourself because it’s not working in your equation. So here there needs to be a change of belief so that you believe that being yourself leads to success. You’ve already seen it by experience that it happens. But expanding that belief, making it grow and grounding yourself into that new belief.

Annelie:

Yes, I understand now when you’re phrasing it like that, that I have come halfway, maybe, as I’m on the right track, but I’m not fully yet finished.

Gloria:

What do you feel intuitively is needed for you to keep going on to that path towards yourself, showing who you are so How did you become that magnet?

Annelie:

I don’t know if it’s the mind talking, but I think I have a lot to offer from all I have discovered during my researches. I think If I just get it out there for people to catch it up and read it, they will come to me. That’s one way. But I don’t know if it’s just my mind talking or not.

Gloria:

I feel there is more than that. There is that. That’s part of it. Just the fact that you said, I think for sure it’s your mind talking, and it’s fine. Often we would like in our mind to have that’s one solution that is going to solve everything because that feels simple and easy. But usually, even business, generally, there are multiple factors that are causing a situation. I feel one is for sure to put out what you have to offer. I can make a connection with what you just said is when you talked about, I wonder my outer qualities, if people will be able to see me. It’s interesting because, and I’m making it really a shortcut what I’m saying, but I was like, It’s interesting that you focus on these outer qualities because I’m sure if I would spend half an hour with you and you just show me what you know, your experience, then I will never focus on your appearance. That’s really the image I have for you is taken in by the words you use, the image that is coming right now, almost like gold. It’s quite fluid, a bit like water, but it’s not water.

It’s like gold and it’s aspiring me in the sense, really like the vacuum cleaner. It’s like the aspiration of your words. That’s how people come to you.

Annelie:

That’s beautiful.

Gloria:

I that. What would help you to make peace with your appearance? What do you need? Now I’m talking more inside because I’m sure the fact that you’ve been bullied, there are different things that, of course, have been imprinted. What is the gift you need to give to yourself right now so that you can…

Annelie:

I think I need to give my younger self a hug.

Gloria:

Would you be okay to do it, to take just a few minutes so that I guide you and we just do that?

Annelie:

Yes, absolutely.

Gloria:

If you want, you can close your eyes. If it helps you to focus inside, just start feeling your body on the chair because we’ve been talking a lot. So it’s like we use our brain, and right now the brain can focus on my voice. Just listen to what I’m saying and just feel if you are sitting correctly in your chair, if you want to put your two feet better on the ground, whatever you sense your body is asking, is needing. You can check if your shoulders are relaxed, your mouth, just your head, generally, your body. If it’s tense, that’s completely fine. We just acknowledge that you don’t need to do anything right now. Just be there with your body. I feel already the energy of what you said just before. I feel your younger self is here. Do you feel it, too? Is it there for you?

Annelie:

Yeah.

Gloria:

Fantastic. I feel the connection inside of you. That’s great. You can imagine yourself sitting next to your younger self or it’s inside of you, whatever feels right. Can you describe me already? Is there something that comes up for you?

Annelie:

It’s emotional more. It’s more like tears coming up.

Gloria:

Can you let these tears come up?

Annelie:

Perhaps.

Gloria:

Even if it’s not for you, the adult, just making space for the sensation, for the emotion. And maybe it’s going to up and later. I know it’s not easy because I feel there is one part of you. I don’t know if it’s holding back, but maybe it’s an intimate moment for you also for later.

Annelie:

Yeah, I think that is correct.

Gloria:

Yes, It’s what I feel, too. And that’s fine. Maybe it’s just saying, and you don’t have to say it out loud, but just saying to her that you will come back to her later. Whatever words come so that she feels seen. What maybe you would have I would have needed to hear in that moment.

Annelie:

I would have needed to hear that everything will be okay and you’re enough as you are.

Gloria:

More than enough. I really see the word that comes to me is beauty. I see her beauty. Just take the time to… If something comes up and you can keep it for yourself, there is no need to share. At least for you, I have the tears coming up, which happens usually. When my client’s or when I work with someone who is holding back, then it’s coming up for them. Yes. And that’s fine. If you want, you can put a hand on your heart if that feels correct to you or hugging yourself. It can be Even putting your hands around your arms, giving yourself a hug.

Annelie:

I guess it is a lot of suppressed feelings.

Gloria:

The biggest thing you can do is just being there for these feelings.

Annelie:

Yes.

Gloria:

And whatever helps you to move these feelings. I don’t know if it’s your breath, like a gentle breath, or if it’s imagining colors around you or a smell. If you can work with any sensation so that it happens through your body.

Annelie:

Yes, I think it’s both breath and smell of roses right now.

Gloria:

Yes, I love this. Roses are also powerful. Smelling the beautiful smell of roses and it’s enveloping your entire body like a hug, all this smell. When you said roses, I can already imagine being outside and there are so many roses around you. Maybe you’re in a garden.

Annelie:

Yes, a butterfly.

Gloria:

Oh, beautiful. Yes. Here you can relax. You are safe in this space. That’s the that comes up for you.

Annelie:

Yes.

Gloria:

Because all of your experiences didn’t feel safe at all. It didn’t feel safe to be yourself. No. Too risky.

Annelie:

Yes, exactly.

Gloria:

I really feel that this younger you needs to be reassured. It was super scary.

Annelie:

Oh, yes, it was.

Gloria:

I really feel what you have been through. And that’s, wow, it’s a lot as a younger child. Just the world generally It doesn’t feel safe. It’s like being inside of you, that feels your safe space, like being with yourself in your own world. That’s where you could rest. The outside, wow.

Annelie:

My inner space has always been in my safe haven.

Gloria:

Yeah. I have many chills as we are doing this, so you can just stay there for you.

Annelie:

Thank you.

Gloria:

It’s almost healing the connection between your inner space and the outer space. You need to do that healing because how can you be visible if it’s so risky, so dangerous? Like your entire cells, your entire body is going to react and say, No, it’s too risky. And yes, I agree with the past experiences you’ve had Spot on. The good thing is with the hug, you are actually hugging your outer skin. So it’s already something in that direction so that we can move inside out. Already you with yourself, giving yourself this safety.

Annelie:

Yes.

Gloria:

Before I used the image of gold and it’s still there for you. It’s like lines. I’m trying to find the word to describe what I see is like undulations of gold. I said water because there is this fluidity in it. Now I’m doing it around your energy is having gold around you so that it’s healing and making the connection safe again between what’s inside and what’s outside. And you can, if you want, imagine with me how- I get an image of when the sun is touching the water. Yes. Love it. I love it.

Annelie:

That’s the image.

Gloria:

Reflecting I love it. But for sure this color, like whether it’s yellow, gold, is helping you.

Annelie:

Yes, it’s comforting.

Gloria:

Yes. Just bath into that light. Yes. Every time the color is touching you and is really going around you, it’s healing because of the past experiences you’ve had. I feel there were many, at least that’s what’s coming up for me.

Annelie:

Yes. Many years.

Gloria:

Yeah. That’s a lot. It’s like being gentle with yourself who, of course, is facing all of that indirectly when you are making these steps to make yourself be visible.

Annelie:

Yes. Every time when I feel I have done my inner work and released a lot of those old traumas, then there’s always something more.

Gloria:

I know it’s not easy sometimes. I’ve already worked on it. Sometimes we need different layers.

Annelie:

Yes, exactly. The layers.

Gloria:

I just want you to stay now really present to that younger self. Feel that hug. If you’re hugging yourself, at least I am doing it. I’m hugging myself, but for you. Holding her, breathing in and out with the movement of the water, the sun, this colors. Just really fully being there. I know you have children, so it’s a bit like sometimes your children just need your presence and your hug, and it’s exactly the same for yourself. Take the time you need and just let me know when she feels good enough and you can keep her in your arms. There’s no need to let her go.

Annelie:

I think she’s in a beautiful place right now.

Gloria:

I feel she wants to stay in it. I would spend the rest of the day in that space. She’s like, Oh, let’s stay in there. And you can fully stay into that because you’ve been there, so now you know how to go back there.

Annelie:

Yeah, it’s a nice place to visit.

Gloria:

Yes.

Annelie:

Really.

Gloria:

Is there something else she needs?

Annelie:

I think it could. It was to have also been related to not feeling like I had the support I needed from home.

Gloria:

Right now, you can acknowledge that.

Annelie:

Yes.

Gloria:

It could be just simple as saying, yes, you didn’t have the support you needed from home.

Annelie:

Yes. I also understand why it’s not that easy for parents to acknowledge what their children needs every time. Everyone has their own struggles and their own traumas.

Gloria:

It’s the understanding, the forgiving part of yourself talking, which is beautiful as well.

Annelie:

Yeah. I have an understanding of the whole situation. It’s more of an emotional Yes.

Gloria:

Can you give her the support you yourself right now, the support she needed?

Annelie:

Yes, I think she would have needed to hear that you don’t need to go to school where people are mean to you. We support if you want to change school. We support if you need some other help.

Gloria:

I really feel the pain inside as you talk. It’s really a lot.

Annelie:

The feeling I had as a child was being forced to jump in a pit with snakes. That was the feeling.

Gloria:

I would feel it.

Annelie:

I had to do it every day.

Gloria:

I can imagine all this sensation coming up when you make yourself visible with your work.

Annelie:

Yes, exactly. It’s like the fear of the snakes again, but also the mind says, No, that’s ridiculous.

Gloria:

Which is not true. There, really, you need to answer to your mind. It’s not ridiculous. The body is always overpowering the mind, even though the mind feels very strong. But the body is the one which is consciously guiding us. And especially the little one inside of you cannot hear that. She’s like, Hey, this was really horrible. It’s not even powerful enough to say that word. It cannot be judged as ridiculous. For you, the path after this session is every time you have these feelings or sensation, sometimes you might know exactly where it comes from, sometimes not, but just every time acknowledge them. I feel it’s going to be like now we’ve opened the box, if you want to say it so. Every time now you’ve started to reconnect to that suppressed feeling, it’s just letting the feeling come, acknowledge it, and it will go away. You don’t have to need anything more complex, but the mind is not going to solve it.

Annelie:

Yeah, more like a feeling that’s present but isn’t dangerous.

Gloria:

If you need every time having yourself, what feels good to you?

Annelie:

I think I’m fine. For now.

Gloria:

Yeah, for now, 100 %. That’s already good. What I was sharing is for the future for you. So we’ll just close that moment. You can breathe in, breathe out. Thank yourself. Thank you, little one, for the amazing work you’ve done right now.

Annelie:

Yeah. It’s like the little one inside me have made a lot of efforts during the years. Like, almost to prove Ourself.

Gloria:

Yeah. It’s like going with strength. You used the word forcing myself before I was forced to go. It’s like I’m still trying to work with that force because Otherwise, I just don’t do it. So you have also the mental strength of, Okay, let’s do it. Let’s open this YouTube channel. Let’s do this Instagram account. But inside it might be shaking. And now in the work with Dawn, of course, is going to help you. Now it’s for you to continue doing that.

Annelie:

Yes. It feels okay. I now also understand that I haven’t come to terms with all those traumas. I I have some more to work with, and I also have to just be vulnerable.

Gloria:

I just want to repeat what I said before, because I don’t want you to go away with the thought, Oh, I need to do a lot of trauma work. And maybe if you feel so like 100% follow your intuition, I need to do a lot of feeling work. Because sometimes we’re like, Okay, just talking maybe about things again. No, here it’s really the feeling. I know from experience, people underestimate the fact that just feeling what’s inside is helping it to release. We don’t need to go back into the story, explain it again, talk through it. Let yourself feel. Every time it’s washing yourself, releasing, I’m feeling it and I let it go. I feel it, I let it go. It’s through the body now that it’s going to go away, go away or at least be healed is more the correct word.

Annelie:

Yeah. It’s like feeling and understand that the feeling isn’t dangerous.

Gloria:

How are you right now?

Annelie:

It’s a bit all over the place. That has something to work with and understand that whatever I don’t have to force myself and also being more gentle to me and accepting me as I am.

Gloria:

I feel that just the fact that you decided to do this recording coaching session is already a step. Yes. Because you shared what’s inside of you. It’s not easy.

Annelie:

No. I felt it, too. Today, when I woke up, I felt, now I’m taking the next step because I’m going to talk to Gloria today, and this will help me move forward in the right direction. I had that feeling.

Gloria:

So now we’ve done that energy work. I want to help you to make sure you’re in the right space because you said, I feel a bit all over the place. Like, okay, bringing yourself back to the center. And it’s also normal with energy work. It feels a bit wobbly. It feels like it’s everywhere. But I want to make sure we end the session in the right space for you. Also, it’s being okay with, I feel for you, it’s a bit uncomfortable also being with that body. Now we can go back to your mind where I know you will feel again safer, probably, which is fine. It’s being okay that at the moment, maybe in the body, it doesn’t feel fully safe because you are learning to create that safety inside of yourself.

Annelie:

Yes.

Gloria:

Do you have any questions Do you feel you need anything else?

Annelie:

I’m a bit overwhelmed right now. Oh, yeah? In a good way. It’s like you have opened the box, as you said, and now I hope I can see more clearly about who I am what I need to think about.

Gloria:

My immediate response when you said, I hope I can see more clearly, is just allow yourself to feel. I know it’s not easy. I see the path for you. I feel like you’ve already done a big step with this session. Now you need to redrive back into your space. That’s really the sensation I have. Now I need to go back, integrate, and then see what comes up.

Annelie:

Yes. Thank you.

Gloria:

You are welcome.

Annelie:

This was eye-opening in many ways.

Gloria:

Thank you for being super vulnerable, entering inside of you and letting yourself feel.

Annelie:

Yes. I hope I can help other people as well if they struggle in the same way.

Gloria:

I am sure. I know it will resonate. The challenge is you have many neurodiversion people have is when you don’t fit the normal, into brackets, way of being and doing, then it’s an entire challenge to allow yourself to be yourself.

Annelie:

I never actually had a diagnosis, but I can feel I have some traits.

Gloria:

Even if it’s not an official test, but at least the path for you is there?

Annelie:

Yeah.

EPISODE CONCLUSION: Your Inner Child needs YOU to feel safe to succeed

How was this episode for you? I would love to hear how it resonated for you. You can see we’ve touched on typical challenges for People who are different than the norm is, will I, by being myself, be able to succeed, have the impact I desire in this society if I feel so different, if I already feel a misfit, probably since I was a child? That’s, of course, a way to talk about being neurodivergent. That’s one of my specialty. But beyond that, because as Annaly said, she was not formally identified, It doesn’t matter if you are formally officially identified or not. This work often needs to be done of, Okay, I felt a misfit. How then can I fit? Often, we unconsciously think we need to fit when actually it’s more about creating your own space, maybe your own world, which doesn’t mean being disconnected from the world, creating an area where people People can come to you, especially as a projector where you are drawing people to you. So this healing needs to be done for many atypical neurodivergent people. It’s a very common belief, and it’s a hard one because it’s really stopping us from succeeding in our business.

The other part that this episode shows you is sometimes when we look at our challenges in our career, in our work, business, we think we need to change something in our way of doing it in the sense of, Oh, I need to maybe learn how to chase clients, if I use the word we used, or I don’t know how to do business, when actually it’s not so much a skill of, let’s say, selling, communicating. It’s much more an inner healing that needs to happen. I hope it invites you to look at your own situation situation in a different way and ask yourself, what does your inner child need to feel safe, to be out in this world with your talents, with your gifts, and to be able to impact as you would like people, the world, you adjusted to your specific situation. It’s not easy to do that work. You’ve seen it like it’s a big challenge to go inside more than a challenge. It’s being repetitive there for you, for your inner child, and not judging it again by saying, Oh, I’ve done this work already so many times, or, Hey, just move on, more into this energy of forcing yourself, when actually there is a break that needs to happen, a big hug, warmth for yourself, compassion, kindness, gentleness.

This is a lot about how I work and what I believe you’ve been. And I guess you, too. Otherwise, you would not be here. That’s probably what you need. So I wish you to keep that for the rest of your day, this gentleness for yourself, for your inner child, and what you’ve experienced in the past and how It has impacted your path and it might need you to look at it and more than just see it, like welcoming it and handling with care this inner child that is still living in you and has a lot to offer. I wish you a beautiful rest of your day, night, evening.