#15 – When money is the reason you hesitate to invest in yourself

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Transcription of the episode

EPISODE TEASER

If you had to remember one question in this episode, it’s what’s the value of solving or improving your situation? What’s the value for you? 

Mentioned in this episode:

– Free Questionnaire to ask yourself the right questions for your next investment, click HERE. 

– Episode 14: Coaching Anna: When Self-Love drops into the body, click HERE. 

EPISODE SUMMARY

This episode is for you if you are facing a decision of investing in yourself and you are thinking, This is too expensive, or this feels a bit too expensive, or this feels really expensive for me. I’m not sure I can make it.

I’m not sure I can afford it. Of course, I’ve been there and I will still be probably in the future as a client. And here I’m sharing what I’ve seen from potential clients I’ve talked with. Some became my clients, some didn’t. And that’s why I’m recording this episode because I want to help you take a decision that is the most aligned for you. From the front, I want to tell you, I’m not someone who would push you into, let’s go. You have to invest in convincing you into paying for my services because I believe the decision needs to come from the right space inside of you. I’m going to share five steps so that you can go through them as you are taking a decision. Right now, if you are facing one or in the future. Ready? Let’s go.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT: 5 steps to take the best financially aligned decision for you

Money is a sensitive topic. Investing money means a lot. It’s more than just spending money. I really like the word investing. It’s saying to yourself, to your life, to the world, this is becoming important for me and I’m going to put energy into it. It’s one of the factors. There is energy, time, money.

Usually when we put money, we align behind because, Hey, I’ve paid, I’m going to use it most of the time. There is more engagement when we pay something than when we don’t. I’ve seen that many times where I could offer something for free that usually people would have to pay for. I see the engagement level is very different. I see that from myself as well. So there is absolutely no judgment. Money is really the first step for me where you say to yourself, Now this is important for me, and I want to give myself the chances to succeed. So I told you we are going to go over five steps, questions you can ask to yourself. 

STEP 1: ALIGNMENT CHECK

The first step for me is an alignment check. All my work is about alignment, so you won’t be surprised that I’m talking about alignment to start. Just think for a second. If finances were not a problem, would you work with that person? Would you choose that offer? Do you feel this is right for you? Not just what’s your mind telling you, but your intuition, your sensation. How is it? If you imagine yourself doing it, what does it bring?

Does it bring joy, excitement, interest? Do you feel supported? Do you feel at ease? What are the emotions that you feel? And they can be other emotions, but that I’m going to talk about later. Just do you feel you would like to work with that person, not just in your mind, but in your entire body. That’s why, for example, I am sharing a lot. Before people work with me, you can find my podcast where, for example, you can listen to coaching sessions. That gives you a very good indication when you listen to several of how I work. Of course, this will be unique when I work with you because you are you and just the meeting of the two within a group will be different. But that gives you a good idea of how I work. I also have a blog. I have newsletter, my social media. You can always join me on my different social media, Gloria Jensen Coaching, Instagram, YouTube, LinkedIn, Facebook, and the podcast, of course, on Spotify, Apple podcast, YouTube, and my website. I really want to give people ways to connect to my work before and get a sensation of there is something interesting there.

I want to learn more. So first check, is it aligned? And here I’m talking not only about the solution that is proposed or the service, but also the way to get there. I’m going to talk about that again. Just saying that as a little information right now. First question, do I feel this is for me and this person is the right one to work with? If it’s a yes, we can move to the step two. And before I move to the step two, sometimes we don’t have full clarity. You sense there is something there for you, but you are unsure. Don’t hesitate to ask more questions. If It’s with me, of course, emailing me however you want, ask your questions, because maybe you need a bit more clarity to sense if that’s for you. Do what you need to do in order to have that clarity. I would say Maybe 99% of people who come to me and want to work with me, have a first-like chat with me, they already feel step one is there because they’ve already benefited from my content and they’re like, Oh, I feel I want to go deeper. Great.

STEP 2: EVALUATING VALUE

So then let’s go to step two. The step two, for me, it’s one of the most important one. It’s the question of value. Because when we speak about cost, we speak about value. If you had to remember one question in this episode, it’s what’s the value of solving or improving your situation? What’s the value for you? Here You can complete what’s the value for you of knowing yourself better so that you feel more at peace. That’s one example. Another one, what’s the value for you of being able to welcome your emotions, being able to deal with your emotions and with all the thoughts that you have in your mind so that you can navigate with what’s inside of you and you are not stopped by your mind. You can move interaction. What’s the value for you if If that would happen? Another example that I take directly from this podcast, you can listen to it, it’s episode 14 with Anna. The question is, what’s the value of finally loving yourself so that you feel free to be yourself. Just move into imagining if the shift would happen for you. What’s the value of that? If I go towards me, if I think about something where I need support, I remember when I I had to do a lot of work around emotions, I can tell you it had a lot of value because every day at work, I would feel something.

It would stay in my mind during the entire night, the day after, maybe a week. I didn’t know how to deal with all these emotions. I sometimes didn’t want to meet that person again. I didn’t want to go in that meeting. So shifting that meant a huge upgrade in my life of how I feel on a daily basis. So that has a big value for me. If you tell me that the problem you are trying to solve, solving it doesn’t have value, then I want to ask, is that really the problem? Is there not another one? Here, there needs to be also a bit of honesty because I’ve been there. I want to do an entire episode about that. It’s sometimes we can be a bit naive, especially if in front of you you have a, I was going to say an aggressive marketing. It’s not the right word. A very good marketing. Let’s take the example of emotions. If you come to me and you tell me, Gloria, I don’t know how to deal with my emotions. It’s hard for me to identify my emotions. I don’t know exactly how I feel. I don’t feel it in the body.

And you tell me, Oh, I want to move towards… Let’s say that’s level one. I say level one because you already have awareness that something needs to change. Let’s move to level nine or 10, which would be more advanced with emotions. Level nine or 10, you feel at peace with what you are feeling. You are able to welcome what you feel. You are able to respond and not react. You let your emotions inform you. You know how to feel them through the body and release them, and it doesn’t stay with you for days and days. You tell me, Oh, wow, that seems very desirable as a solution, and you are ready to invest just one hour of coaching. I’m making it a bit extreme here. You already know where I’m going. Then I will tell you, yes, I can do magic. We can do magic together, but let’s be also realistic. There is work that needs to be done so that we move through the different levels so that you master more what is happening inside of you in terms of emotions. I say that because sometimes solutions are positioned in a way that you feel Wow, I want this, but no one tells you that.

It depends also on where you are now. I have some clients who really understand that and are aware of it. It takes a process to get somewhere, and others who might not be fully aware of that. So it’s important also in that moment when you ask yourself, what’s the value for me? Being realistic also in the path to get there. Really, that’s the main question. What’s the value of that for me? If you tell me, step one, I feel aligned with the person, the offering. Step two, this has a lot of value for me. This is really important for me to change. 

STEP 3: SETTING PRIORITIES

Then we move to step three, and that’s the step of priority. My question is, is it a priority now? Because Because if you tell me, Yes, Gloria, your offering is aligned. Yes, this is important for me. But you still tell me, It’s too expensive. I don’t have the money. I’m going to ask you, Is it a priority or what’s your priority right now? Because what I see, and again, there is no judgment, I’ve seen myself doing it. You say no to something because it’s too expensive. And the week after, you go and you buy yourself a new phone, a new car, you book a trip, something.

Then the question is more like, what does it say about that? About you if after you didn’t have, I don’t know, €2,000, €2,000, and then you spend it somewhere else? I say that with a very specific example in mind. A few years ago, I was coaching someone and the person started working with me. And at some point she said, I’m going to stop the coaching because I don’t have the money. First, I was like, Okay, you knew upfront how much it cost. And for me, at least once I am engaged in something, I have the responsibility to make it happen. The person first told me I don’t have the money. And then we had a quick chat and the person told me, Oh, I’m going for a trip to in Italy in two weeks with a friend. I’m looking forward. I’ve decided to do that before I start working again. And there was like, Okay, you have the money to pay for a trip, but you don’t have the money to pay for your coaching. So here it’s about being honest and in integrity with yourself as well. That’s really something I’ve seen a lot happen.

But again, also without any judgment, maybe You need to sit with your expenditures, with your expenses. How are you spending your money? So now you tell me, This is aligned, this is a value for me, and this is a priority. Good. 

STEP 4: READINESS TO DO THE WORK

Step four is about your readiness to do the work. Because, of course, this is a decision that means a transformation for you. I was going to say a big transformation. Of course, it depends on what services you buy. But if you decide to invest money, there is a higher chance that behind you will do the work. So are you ready after the investment to do that work? What needs to change? And are you ready to face it? Here, I have several things in mind that I want to share is you can have blocks around. It’s really like this step. Four is about you, the readiness of you to face what needs to be faced. Every person is I’m just going to give a few examples. Hopefully, one will hit you, and it’s not hit you in the literal sense, but will be an insight for you and your situation. One that I face a lot is what’s the meaning for you of getting support?

For some, investing in themselves means they’re weak. They think first they’re judging themselves, then they fear the judgment of others, even though people might not know that you are doing that. But, Oh, other people don’t need that support. Why do I need it? I’m weak. So it’s judgment on themselves. I could do an entire episode around that. I want to give just a very short answer. One day, I read a book called It’s not how, the question. It’s not how, but who. I can’t remember the exact title. The summary, and I loved it, is when you ask yourself, How can I do this? Ask yourself, Who can help you doing it? You will move faster in your life when you ask yourself this question, not how, but who. And in the book, they give many examples of champions, of people who have been very successful, and they show you how much it was amplified possible, thanks to the support of, and then you name it. So just for you to know, and that’s an example of answering to the weakness, You can be strong and still with support, go even stronger, even further. It doesn’t mean something about you.

It means more something about what you want in your life, what you are ready to do to change your life. I can tell you, with support, you will go so fast, further, because sometimes I have people who say, I can do that by myself. And maybe that’s what you’re thinking. I can tell you, yes, very probably, or maybe not, depending on the situation. But it’s possible that you can do it by yourself. But maybe it will take many years or not the few months of working with me. And there is one thing that in our life we don’t have in abundance, it’s time. We are all limited, 24 hours a day. Some will live longer than others. But yeah, time is the only thing we don’t have in abundance. So then it’s about you. How fast do you want to have the life you desire? How fast do you want to experience what you’re looking for? And just take the decision in alignment with yourself. So there might need to be a shift for you in terms of looking at support, being supported in another way. I hope a few things I shared can help you.

A second example I face a lot. I can really relate to it. It’s past experiences that block you from investing. I remember having a client who shared with me, Gloria, I need help on my professional journey. I’ve already invested in that program. I even knew what she was talking about because it was quite a well-known program. And the person told me there was coaching, but I didn’t feel the coach understood me and the methodology was not aligned for me. It didn’t help me move forward. I’ve already invested that money and I didn’t move forward as I wanted. Then it’s like, Okay, Gloria, I like how you work. It’s It’s important for me. I’m ready. But it’s hard. Do I trust someone again? Do I go into it again? That person, she decided to do it because already by chatting with her, we really felt big alignment. From the start, I knew it and she knew it too, so she made the step. But it’s not an easy one for myself. I know that in my business journey is how I’ve invested that money and it didn’t work for me, and now I’m going to invest again, or without, for example, having to have your business that has evolved as you wanted.

That’s not easy. Here, to help you, you can ask yourself, if I look at these past experiences, were there any clues or hints that this could not have worked for me? Where from did I take the decision in the past? Did I decide to work with that person because, I don’t know, the person put pressure, there was time limit, so I thought, Okay, let’s do it. But in fact, I would have needed more time to decide. Was I looking forward to the solution offered, but the methodology was not aligned? For me, typically, I remember business programs a lot around sometimes, Let’s do your first $2,000. Let’s do your first 10K per month. I’m going to help you hit that. Yes, but maybe you need to ask the how. How do you get there And I was going to say, Unfortunately, but that’s how it works. We need to make experiences to learn. And for me, I meant that experience. I encountered people who really didn’t work in an aligned way for me. And I understood, Okay, you need to check not only if the solution works for you, but also the way to get there.

That was my learning. What I see also, I’ve experienced it myself, but I see it also a lot is, I ask you, from which space do you take the decision? Is it from fear? From, if I don’t do that with Gloria, then my life is a mess or I’m never going to move forward? Or am I taking that from a space of, Oh, I would love to work with Gloria or take another person. I’m excited. This feels expensive. I desire this. It’s a very different energy than I’m in fear, I’m in stress. The result won’t be the same. I love to take that example from my client of you plant a seed. So one seed you planted in the earth is excitement, joy, interest, expansion. And the other seed you planted is fear, contraction, stress, feeling of I’m not enough. If I don’t do that, then I’m never going to succeed. And the work we might be doing together, the work you’ve done with previous people is like, you are putting water on the seed, maybe changing, I don’t know, the soil, doing something so that the seed grows. But initially, what was the seed?

Maybe it was a seed of fear. Then that’s what you are growing. So really take the time to assess your past experiences. And also, as you are taking a decision now, from where does the decision come from? That’s going to massively change the result or the work you can do by engaging aging into that self-transformation work. So past experiences are there to help us learn something. Go and check what’s the lesson for you in there. And I hope this few questions can help you to assess where was the problem or the mistake and the experience you can learn. And as I’m moving forward, I said, this step is really about you. Are you ready? And there you face really intimately what’s going on inside of you. So What’s the meaning of support for you? What were past experiences? And in the end, it’s really about the fear, sometimes, of yourself. I hear that a lot from people is, I’m afraid of who I’m going to meet by working with you. I’m afraid if we go deeper, we find there is nothing. I’m afraid to be disappointed by myself and this fear of meeting yourself deeply because you know when you work with me that you are going to meet yourself at a deeper level.

Here, I have an immediate response. If that’s the fear you are having, you can be reassured, I know that how I work is only going to bring yourself closer to yourself to something more authentic. So you cannot be disappointed. You can only meet deeper parts of yourself that you might have put by side that you haven’t acknowledged. So that cannot happen. But I understand that this fear is there and it needs to be acknowledged. And it’s okay. It’s okay to have fears and still move forward. I have another example that comes to my mind, which is quite recent, where I had a woman who came to me. She had a family and she told me, Wow, Gloria, this is really expensive. I have a family, and if I do this, I’m taking part of the budget for our family. I need to chat also with my husband. I chatted with her and I told her, As I tell to everyone, I’m not there to force yourself, push you into investing in this. This is an expense for sure. This is an investment. And understand that it’s creating a turbulence inside of your turmoil. But for her, for example, by investing, she was exactly facing one of the blocks we worked on.

She was prioritizing every day her kids, her husband, her work, and never herself. So of course, do you imagine in her mind when you tell, I’m going to invest that amount in myself, what do you say to your mind? You suddenly say, I am a priority. I am important. And there is an error alarm system that starts in your mind, saying, Oh, there’s a problem. And for her, it was going exactly against one of the belief of her not being herself at the center of her life. So this decision was not, in German, you would say, nicht ohne. It was really not a life decision. It was really engaging something bigger. So it’s normal that you doubt. It’s normal that you are wondering, do I move? But ask yourself the right questions to check what’s really in the end, what are you afraid of? If you’ve marked, checked the steps before, it’s like, What are you really afraid of? Can you go one level deeper? Why? And there you can face the real fear that you are facing by potentially making an investment. Really feel free to share your fear because I help you with a lot of…

I’m really impartial because, again, I don’t want people to take decision from the wrong space. I help you unravel what’s happening, and then you’re still free to say yes or no. I’m not doing it in a way that I’m going to manipulate you through what I’m going to say, because that would be a lot of integrity for me. Now we are going to move to the step five. So again, step one, it’s aligned. Step two, this is a value for me. Step three, I am ready. This is a priority. Step four, I faced what I had to face through making this decision, and I’m facing myself on a deeper level. You tell me, Gloria, all of this is fine for me. I am ready, but I still don’t have the money.

STEP 5: FINANCIAL POSSIBILITIES

Here it’s really a money problem. I’ve had clients who really didn’t have much money and still decided to invest, even though they had barely money to live on a daily basis. Others which decided to not do it. I’m not there to say in personal development, sometimes you can hear that. It’s like, Do it and the universe is going to bring the money.

That happens as well. I’ve seen it, but in the end, it’s not my opinion that matters, is the feeling inside, if you feel the calling or not. What I can still tell you in the step five of I really don’t have the money is here you have two paths. One is either you stop here and you say, Gloria, I look at my bank account, I really don’t have the money. And you move into a fixed mindset of this is not possible. Know that if you think this is not possible, your brain is not going to make it possible. Path two. Or you ask yourself, How can I make this possible? Here you move into a growth mindset. In your mind, if you ask your brain, How can I make this possible? Your brain is going to start as a computer working on, How can I make this possible? You might have some solutions immediately, you might take more time, but you’re opening a door. I’ve seen that, again, from different clients. I remember having someone who came to me and told me all the steps, even though this person didn’t know about these steps I just shared, she told me, I really want to work with you.

But I just moved. I have a mortgage. I just had to pay a lot. Right now, it feels stressful for me to invest. Can I sit with my budget, come back to you? And then the person told me, You know what? For me to work together in three months would feel much better. I can put some money aside. And this person even proposed to me to already put a deposit, really sharing, I want to work with you and I can pay the rest when we start working together. And for them, I’m like, Of course, that feels good for you. That feels good for you that feels aligned, and you’re just postponing a bit so that it’s feasible. So that’s one option. I’m thinking about another person as well. She really didn’t have the money and she didn’t see how it would happen very soon. But the person told me, Okay, let’s check back in six months. I’m going to see if I can make that work happen. I need to move this. And it meant going out of his comfort zone, maybe offering things he didn’t do before, changing things in his money behavior. There was here, again, an engagement.

I can tell you, if you tell to your brain, How can I make this possible? If you are acting and showing to life, I’m trying to make it happen, there will be a response. There will be something that will be possible. If you really don’t have the money, ask yourself, How can I make this possible? It can be, that’s another topic I could talk about, but really around sitting with your finances, looking at what comes out every month, what do you spend your money on, how can you maybe start saving, and asking yourself your priorities. I remember, and that’s a personal example, I wanted to do a birth preparation for my son, and the money was a lot. The person told me, The birth of your son is going to be something that he and you will keep for your entire life. What kinds of clothes he’s going to wear, what toys he will have, playing Matt. You can buy all of it second-hand. That’s not going to change his life and it’s not going to change your life. I was like, Yes, that’s true. And that was my decision. I was like, Yeah, actually buying second-hand and all the baby stuff costs a lot, a lot of money.

I don’t need to go into that detail. But the birth is an experience that is wiring you, you as a mother and your baby. So that’s a example of how you can think differently about your expenses. Now you’ve done the five steps and you’re like, Gloria, all good. Thanks for the help. You are welcome. But I still have a little doubt. I could refer to your human design and please feel free in comment to reach out. If you have questions, I can help you. I do that with potential clients, like figuring out what’s their decision-making style. Some will know instantly what works for them. Some will need to sleep over it. I help potential clients always to move into their heart and move from that space so that it’s expensive for them. Expensive, not expensive. That’s a funny one. And If you don’t know your human design, you can just ask yourself, what were the good decisions I took in the past? What do they tell me about my decision making style? You will already find great answers in there. And last but not least, you still have a little doubt. I will tell you, it’s hard to be sure about the decision.

Only life will tell us if it was the right one. So if you have a majority of, I sense this is right, then go for it because you can’t know until you really make the experience. What I really want to help you stop is taking decision because someone pushed you into making a decision. I would never do that. I highly value space, the inner space, where from you take your decision so that it’s the cleanest and the lightest, most beautiful energy that will help you move forward. In summary, if I take all these five steps, for me, the step two around the value is usually the most important one. Cost is a question of value. Cost is a question of value. Either I was not good enough in sharing the value, which can happen, and I I have a good news. I’m not selling marketing services here, but coaching support healing services. That’s one option, or you are not valuing yourself enough to spend that money. You are not valuing solving the situation enough. You’re not valuing your happiness, your well-being, your ease, your flow, your freedom, your liberation enough to make the investment. Investing money in yourself means I am important and I want to give myself the maximum chances to make the situation change.

I even have an example. You know of a client? She then became a client, but who told me, as we did the prior chat to working with me, the person told me, Gloria, I talked with another coach and he was much more convincing and I could have worked with him, but I’m still talking with you again because there is a little doubt. And the person shared with me how the coach works and I could really understand what she meant. The person shared an exact framework, and this is what you’re going to get, and this is how it’s going to happen. And she was like, Oh, yes, yes. But then after that, she realized, Well, if I move with that person, this person is not going to help me to do the real work I need to do, which is trusting myself more. And I know that with Gloria, she’s giving me much more space. Even in the chat before working together, she’s moving intuitively, and she helps me find my answers in my way. She’s not imposing the steps and how to get there. And she was very honest with herself and with me and took then the decision to work with me.

And it was a fabulous transformation. It was a beautiful transformation. That’s to give an example of how my marketing might differ from others because I’m not there to push you into making a decision, and I want this to come from the right space for you. The final question is, what does it mean for you to choose yourself to make space, time, energy, money, so that this situation evolves for you? Let me know in comment if this helped. If you have another situation that comes to your mind, of course, share if it can help other listeners.

Download the free questionnaire to go through the 5 steps for your next self-investment, click HERE.