Today, Licka Sarr shares her vision of giftedness through the Gifted Interview. Thank you, Licka! She is a trainer and giving parental guidance. She lives in France, Hauts de Seine.
.IF I COULD CHOOSE, WOULD I STILL BE GIFTED?
My answer today is obviously YES!
It wasn’t always easy to admit that this particularity that I hadn’t chosen was going to follow me all my life.
Now that I know myself better, I recognise that it is my strength.
.WHAT (MY OWN) GIFTEDNESS MEANS TO ME
I could define my giftedness as a peculiarity that offers me magic glasses to see the world.
Whereas a few years ago, I had the impression that these glasses were too tinted to allow me to fit in. Nowadays I still feel troubled but it’s less frequent and more occasional.
.IF I HAD TO CHOOSE AN IMAGE OR A KEYWORD THAT SUMS UP WHAT GIFTEDNESS MEANS
I would say, a spider’s web.
It is infinitely extensible and multidirectional but so fragile. It can be woven in all directions and when it breaks, it can always be repaired.
.HOW LONG HAVE I KNOWN ABOUT IT?
I have known this for less than 2 years in practice (tested) but I have always had the impression of being on the sidelines in many situations.
A psychologist suggested to me 7 years ago that I should take the test. I was offended because it seemed to me that she wanted to put me in a box to silence what I was experiencing as suffering.
After meeting 2 other therapists, one of whom was able to make the same suggestion in a more skillful way, I got tested.
What also triggered me to take the test was the fact that I identified in one of my 3 children a particular hypersensitivity and intelligence that reminded me a lot of myself and which strongly resembled the Gifted profile.
.WHAT PHASES HAVE I GONE THROUGH SINCE MY DISCOVERY?
Denial. Even though the test was irrevocable, I couldn’t believe that I had a high IQ. I couldn’t recognize myself as gifted mainly because I had a very poor understanding of what it meant.
The anger of not having known before, especially when I was young or at least during my adolescence when I found myself almost failing at school because the classical system didn’t suit me.
Then a phase of questioning, I reviewed all my years through the prism of giftedness.
Relief. Finally, after more thoughtful reflection, I perceived this discovery as a possibility to prove some of my reasoning, behaviour and sensitivities right.
.HOW DO I EXPLAIN IT TO SOMEONE WHO HAS NEVER HEARD OF IT?
I still find it very difficult to explain it. In people’s minds, the gifted are super-smart people, full stop!
I say rather neuro-atypic with a tree-structure thought process.
.THE REMARK WHICH BLEW ME AWAY MOST WHEN I TALKED ABOUT IT
In relation to the previous question, and because I always have a bit of trouble explaining giftedness, one remark that stuck in my mind after my attempt at a presentation was “You’re super smart, it’s so great”. I recognised a lot of kindness but an offbeat excitement and a summary that was not faithful to what I had just expressed.
.HOW IT CHANGED MY LIFE (TO KNOW IT)
As said above, an opportunity to give reason to some of my reasoning, behaviour and sensitivities.
I no longer feel on the sidelines but strong with my particularity.
It has also changed that I better accept the difference of others and the discrepancy that there can be in our visions, whatever they may be.
.WHAT I HAVE ALLOWED MYSELF TO DO EVER SINCE
I allow myself to create, to “butterfly”. I allow myself to trust the fact that it is by scattering myself that I build precisely.
I allow myself to distance myself from certain people because I am comforted by my possible incompatibility and my inability to maintain superficial relationships.
.WHAT IT CREATES TO OTHERS WHEN I TALK ABOUT IT
It depends. I have observed fascination, very benevolent curiosity. But also indifference (which I experience very badly, especially when it comes from someone close to me). Or someone close to me may have confessed that he felt inferior to me with my particularities; this is no doubt linked to his representations and his history, in this case, it resulted in rejection.
.WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO EMPHASIZE ABOUT GIFTEDNESS
That it is a particularity and not a superiority!
.WHAT I PERSONALLY FIND TO BE THE MOST DIFFICULT
I have a very powerful value system and I still have a bit of trouble asserting myself gently or quietly when it comes to one of these values.
I have convictions and values that I would not deviate from. It may have cost me friendships or love relationships.
.WHAT I PERSONALLY LOVE
This sniper side still fascinates me, I have the impression that I perceive so many things simultaneously. I also have a highly developed ability to work a lot when I feel good psychically.
.MY WELLBEING TOOL OR PRACTICE THAT HELPS ME MOST
My tree-structure thinking and over-stimulation of my mind could have caused me a lot of harm and it is thanks to the practice of mindfulness that I was able to take a step aside to observe how I functioned, to be more agile to discern things and accept myself without wanting to change.
.WHAT I WANT TO SAY TO GIFTED PEOPLE
Nothing special except that even though we have a common label we are all different.
.WHAT I WOULD RECOMMEND TO SOMEONE WHO IS WONDERING
To take the test or meet with a specialist therapist to get confirmation rather than staying with doubt for too long. I haven’t always thought this but this is the advice I can give to avoid the rollercoaster ride between strong intuition of discrepancy and big doubts that inevitably go in pairs.
.MY PROFESSIONAL ADVICE FOR GIFTED
Do not absolutely want to fit into the box. There are professional circles where you can feel free and fulfilled (I knew some of them personally before setting up my own business).
But hey, I think in the end it’s a piece of advice that could be given to everyone.
.A BOOK TO READ ON THE SUBJECT
I don’t know many books, other than the best known on the subject, but I would recommend an episode of the podcast “Ma résolution coaching” by Fanny Marais with Fabrice Micheau about gifted women (in French only).
.MY OPINION ABOUT THE IQ WAIS TEST
Even if this remains a factual evaluation scale, I find it difficult to imagine that at a given moment, the measurement is perfectly representative of the person being tested.
Therefore, I think it is necessary not to identify oneself with a figure.
For me, it was still necessary. Probably because I needed to place myself on a scale at a time of great doubt.
.IS IT A WASTE NOT TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE GIFTED?
Yes, I think so. Knowing is indispensable for better awareness of oneself, one’s mechanisms, and abilities.
.WHEN I MEET ANOTHER GIFTED PERSON, DO I RECOGNIZE HIM.HER? BY WHAT?
Yes, I recognise him.her by the look in his.her eyes during our exchanges. I recognise him.her by the way he.she completes my thoughts, his.her thirst for understanding and his.her empathy. Maybe I am wrong, so I only very rarely suggest my point of view.
On the other hand, my feelings are often quickly confirmed when the other person also recognises me and speaks freely about it.
.A INTUITION ON THE SUBJECT
I have the intuition that many people around me are gifted and/or hypersensitive. And I recently found out that this is justified by the fact that gifted and hypersensitive people tend to come together.