Today, Gaétan Lecire shares his vision of giftedness through the Gifted Interview. Thank you, Gaétan! He is a University Audiovisual Instructor, a professional portrait photographer and a Hypnotherapist. He currently lives in Auray, France.
.IF I COULD CHOOSE, WOULD I STILL BE GIFTED?
If that meant feeling less out of step for half my life (40 years or so), then maybe not 🙂
If it meant feeling the extent to which I can be ‘broad’ in my knowledge and interests, the extent to which I can be this AND that, the extent to which I can have surprising resources, have a gentle, joyful background and find companions to share who are as sparkling as I am, then yes, without a doubt 🙂
.WHAT BEING GIFTED MEANS TO ME
A mind that can quickly go into overdrive, a need for meaning, a search for awareness/understanding. Often creativity, the pleasure of doing/saying things just for the sake of it. The need to find ways out.
Sometimes a mind that complicates things a lot because it likes to play with a bunch of knowledge that it would like to interweave to build things up. The pleasure of creating with others. The need to be sociable and, at the same time, the need for solitude.
Seeking the pleasure of intense sensations, seeking a deep and sincere connection with others. Seeking balance in exchanges.
.IF I HAD TO CHOOSE AN IMAGE OR A KEYWORD THAT SUMS UP WHAT GIFTEDNESS MEANS
Wings that want to spread out behind my back so that I can float comfortably in the air and see from above what’s happening on earth…
.HOW LONG HAVE I KNOWN ABOUT IT?
3 years ago
.WHAT PHASES HAVE I GONE THROUGH SINCE MY DISCOVERY?
Stunned, doubtful, then curious and now more “active”.
.HOW DO I EXPLAIN IT TO SOMEONE WHO HAS NEVER HEARD OF IT?
It’s a way of being in the world that may be a little different from your own. It exists, you may not understand/conceive it, and that’s fine.
I’m just asking you to accept that it may be, just as I accept you in your diversity. Don’t impose your truths on me, doubt mine. And let’s have a chat and walk the road together, if you want too.
Sometimes I may guess things about you or things to come, sometimes I may laugh faster or louder than you. But that won’t stop me from loving you, with brotherhood or with desire.
.THE REMARK WHICH BLEW ME AWAY MOST WHEN I TALKED ABOUT IT
“Don’t talk to me about that! Just the other day the neighbour kept saying she was hypersensitive because she was a ‘gifted'” (with a disgusted expression).
.HOW IT CHANGED MY LIFE (TO KNOW IT)
Allowing myself more ‘out of the blue’ impulses and limiting the interest and impact of other people’s negative judgements if I’m ‘not like’ or amazing.
Justify myself much less. Less feeling of guilt for not “doing what everyone else does”.
And I have the impression that the less I judge myself (which is a conscious process), the less I judge others. This leads to greater peace of mind and understanding, or even just accepting that ‘I don’t give a damn’.
.WHAT I HAVE ALLOWED MYSELF TO DO EVER SINCE
To think out loud in front of others.
To question my ideas and opinions less.
To be less ‘last in line’.
To be more confident in my judgements, even if I don’t know exactly how I came to them.
To wait less until “later”.
To accept that I have needs. That they are important and that I can state them clearly.
To accept that people can say no to me, just as they can say yes.
To leave myself alone more often.
To listen to my changes of mind/desire (even if I don’t systematically apply them, for the moment anyway…). But I’m already making them be aware! That’s good progress.
Changing my point of view, changing the way I look at everyday situations.
.WHAT IT CREATES TO OTHERS WHEN I TALK ABOUT IT
Before, there was sometimes misunderstanding, mockery or other forms of hurt.
Now, the feedback is more positive, linked to a more assertive, confident posture. I have much less desire to try and convince. Take it or leave it, it doesn’t matter… next! 🙂
I can now see that when I ‘release’ phrases with my energy/inner child, I can contact the inner child of the person I’m talking to, and their eyes change and sparkle. The relationship is no longer judgemental but playful.
.WHAT IRRITATES ME WITH GIFTEDNESS
The loss of a certain naivety that others have retained (even if our capacity for hope/resilience is perhaps more developed than for others).
Sometimes being “too clear-headed” (rather pessimistic) about what’s at stake or what the future holds, easily leading to anxiety attacks.
A feeling of loyalty, probably too great, which often made me put myself before others.
.WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO EMPHASIZE ABOUT GIFTEDNESS
The joy of finally finding yourself. The pleasure of discovering ways to finally understand yourself and stop feeling guilty. The joy of finally feeling less alone because, in reality, there are other (discreet) people around us who share our affections! The pleasure of making room to get closer to people who share our values.
This strength of reactivity, this greedy spirit of experiencing ourselves and others, this curiosity that helps us to want to continue along the path of life. This astonishing creativity that sometimes emerges when you least expect it, this capacity to be passionate about subjects that are “not our own” and to be able to compete once worked on, with the help of our common sense and distanced gaze.
This desire to support others, if we still love them. Those shots of adrenalin and endorphin when everything’s “up”.
.WHAT I PERSONALLY FIND TO BE THE MOST DIFFICULT
The downs that come after the ups (the rain after the sun, to better appreciate the sun). The anxiety of a future that is perceived and watched. The feeling of vulnerability because “we’re only human”.
The ability of our minds to look at the finitude, the emptiness of all our efforts.
The impression of not daring enough, of not making decisions/choices, of moving forward confidently. Boredom. Reading power plays and social games that are sometimes so predictable/repetitive and meaningless. The lack of a childlike naivety that would erase the ugly.
.WHAT I PERSONALLY LOVE
I adore the person I don’t yet know, with whom I can create “sparks”. I call it “swelling” like when you inject air into an ice cream to make it take on volume and lightness. That’s what I can feel in certain conversations, and that our exchanges “swell”. It’s a great pleasure to be and co-create.
.MY WELLBEING TOOL OR PRACTICE THAT HELPS ME MOST
Being listened to, without judgement or specific advice. Just being by my side at times when I need support and feel (re)alone.
.A MISREPRESENTATION THAT I WANT TO CALL INTO QUESTION
That we’re “better” than others at studying, and that we don’t need to “try” or “work” to achieve something.
We’re good at putting knowledge together, but the hard work of accumulating it does exist! And we still have to like the subject! We can be intransigent if the subject seems uninteresting.
.WHAT I WANT TO SAY TO GIFTED PEOPLE
Hello there! (With a big smile) (a new person = new potential, personally that makes me happy).
.WHAT I WANT TO SAY TO PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT CONCERNED
There is no such thing as your truth, but there are truths. You can let go of your truth without falling apart.
.WHAT I WOULD RECOMMEND TO SOMEONE WHO IS WONDERING
Asking is, in my opinion, already a step towards a more accurate understanding of oneself.
It tends towards a search for the meaning of what you’ve already experienced and no doubt the possibility, in the long term, of being kinder to yourself by better understanding the way you ‘process’.
.THE MISTAKE NOT TO MAKE FOR A GIFTED PERSON
Yelling from the rooftops to be neurodivergent: “I’m a gifted, take care of my atypicality!” I think you have to make yourself an actor and not present yourself as a ‘victim’ of your neurodivergent functioning and its effects.
.MY PROFESSIONAL ADVICE FOR GIFTED
Many of them are leaving highly hierarchical corporate structures. It’s a way of surviving the injustice of certain hierarchical decisions, or the loss of meaning of “bullshit jobs”. People often go into creating a business for themselves.
This seems to me to be a way of making peace with oneself, to limit the injustice and verbal violence associated with interactions within companies and the power games/misbehaviour of employees.
.A BOOK TO READ ON THE SUBJECT
“Too smart to be happy? The gifted adult” by the French Author Jeanne Siaud-Facchin.
I’m not saying it’s the best, but it’s the first book I’ve been offered on the subject, and it made me relive my life and my questions from page to page.
I was stunned when I read it, with doubts but too many coincidences in the examples, and I was unknowingly stepping into a ‘new meadow’.
I really felt like I’d found THE piece of the puzzle that was missing to join the 2 parts of the sky that I’d already put together, with the phrase “but I knew it!” The top of this jigsaw is a blue sky!). Since then, I’ve continued to put together the rest of the puzzle, under this completed sky! 🙂
.MY OPINION ABOUT THE IQ WAIS TEST
I took the test 6 months ago. After hesitating for a number of months, I wanted to be sure that I wasn’t “telling myself stories”.
So I went to a neuropsychiatrist to take the WAIS IV test. I thought I was giving myself a Christmas present!
I’d say that the test measures certain characteristics of people in terms of intelligence, mainly in the logical spheres. If we assume that there is also emotional, kinetic or instinctive intelligence, these more subjective dimensions are not in the spectrum of the test, which is more performative.
.IS IT A WASTE NOT TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE GIFTED?
If we start from the premise that not knowing often leads to self-doubt and the sclerosis of one’s identity for fear of “displeasing”, “doing too much” or “taking up too much space”, which is what often emerges from the testimonies, then yes, not knowing can be seen as a “waste”.
From my point of view, it’s wiser to work consciously on accepting our different facets, from the exalted light to the solitary shadow.
Understanding that we can be one AND the other depending on the moment.
It’s not that we have a psychiatric ‘disorder’, it’s just that we have a broader scope, a wider latitude than other psychological functions.
The need for intensity, for understanding, for knowing “why I’m here”. The desire to discover or share new things, to look death ‘in the face’: not as an abstract concept but as a reality for everyone. All these characteristics make me think of giftedness.
Not that they don’t exist in ‘neurotypicals’, but they are often condensed in ‘atypicals’, often making it difficult to explain these attractions, our intimate reflections, these almost ‘vital’ impulses to find meaning to others.
The phrase I’ve often heard: “But why are you thinking about that? That’s just the way I am!
.WHEN I MEET ANOTHER GIFTED PERSON, DO I RECOGNIZE HIM.HER? BY WHAT?
After having confirmed my giftedness by the test, I realised just how much our favourite subjects can emerge in the ‘ordinary’ sentences of conversation.
By taking a step back, you can detect “key” subjects/words: problems with “injustice”, “hierarchy”, others think I’m “weird”, I get “bored” quickly, I’m “curious”, I don’t “understand” why, it doesn’t “make sense”, I’ve always been thought to be more mature than my age, I feel like I’m bothering myself for nothing, I can’t do anything else because I’m too much of a perfectionist…
All this is often accompanied by a fairly elaborate vocabulary or a broad cultural background. Anxiety is also a recurring theme (with the use of this very word). The notion of loneliness as a young person is also often mentioned. Sometimes a pleasure in playing with words can also be found.
Now, by paying attention to this lexical field (“song”), I find myself ‘recognising’ neurodivergent people who talk about themselves, whereas a few years ago, I hadn’t ‘picked up’ on these fairly recurrent subjects that are characteristic of gifted people. Which of course doesn’t mean they don’t exist in neurotypicals too. But for me, accumulation is an indicator that needs to be listened to (and this was confirmed when I dared to ask: “are you gifted?” at one point in the conversation).
Moreover, it’s not “by chance” that we don’t talk for only 20 minutes and we’re not attracted by people who are “totally” different from our own structure 🙂
.WHAT DO GIFTED PEOPLE HAVE IN COMMON?
Curiosity, the search for meaning, a certain desire for justice, the desire to understand things for themselves, rather a search for gentleness in their relationships, the desire to feel “alive/desired”.
Difficulty in letting go, in clearing their heads, sometimes in being in the present moment, in not being dissociated, sometimes difficulty in being fully “in the body”. And at the same time, the pleasure of feeling alive, of thinking at full speed, of taking on challenges, of sharing moments of intensity.
.A WISH FOR THE FUTURE
That the characteristics of gifted people should not be used to “exploit them better in companies” but to better accept the diversity of human profiles.
That we move away from a single way of thinking (a social unitary legend), to the acceptance of multiple truths that can coexist, of seeing life in different ways, of freedom of expression, of more mutual aid, and of human value as the central element of our activities rather than the accumulation of resources.
Who said it wasn’t easy? Well, I did! 🙂
.A HUNCH ON THE SUBJECT
I wonder to what extent the characteristics associated with giftedness, which some people believe can be inherited, are only ‘activated’ when traumas are experienced at a young age.
These activated/developed/invested characteristics help them to survive or find meaning in the situation(s) they experience. If I’m not mistaken, this comes under the heading of epigenetics.
(Profoundly) gifted cerebral plasticity capacities would then be much more common resources than the representativeness of (profoundly) gifted in the general population. They would simply not be systematically invested/deployed/solicited/catalysed in each individual, depending on life experiences during childhood.
Survey to follow…
.THE MISSING QUESTION, WHICH I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO ANSWER ON THE SUBJECT?
Do you love yourself?
I do now! Much more so than before, knowing that what I was interested in, what I was experiencing/living was ‘normal’ but not as ‘common’ and shared in the global population as that! Quite a discovery!