#25- The First Year of Motherhood: The Invisible Transformation of Becoming a Mother

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The Invisible Magic of Motherhood: Lessons from My First Year

Introduction: What we often miss

Before I became a mother, I didn’t understand how the invisible work of parenthood could reshape every fibre of your being. I wasn’t aware of the profound changes I was going through—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. If you’re reading this and feeling a certain way about yourself right now, I invite you to pause and examine the context around you.

What’s your context of everything that is going on within you? Are you supported or struggling alone? What’s your energy level? What expectations are you placing on yourself? What’s happening in your life that may not be visible to others, or even to yourself?

This is the story of my first year of motherhood, a year where many things evolved and moved through me invisibly. It’s for anyone navigating their own transformative journey, whether that’s becoming a parent, starting a new venture, or moving through any period of profound change.

Mentioned in the episode:

– My Birth Story HERE
– Episode around Pregnancy HERE
– Discover my professional coaching HERE

My Story- The Darkest Hours: When Sleep Becomes a Luxury

The Marathon That Never Ends

Let me be completely honest: the hardest moments of my first year as a mother were all sleep-related. We welcomed a baby with significant sleep issues, waking frequently through the night, needing support to fall asleep again, and complex naps during the day.

It became our greatest challenge.

I remember returning from a trip to Argentina, utterly exhausted. The day after landing, I couldn’t stop crying. The emotions just flooded out. We were beyond tired. This wasn’t ordinary fatigue… this was cumulative sleep deprivation spanning more than 10 months.

There were moments when I stood in my baby’s room, trying to help him fall asleep, and the tears just rolled down my cheeks. I thought, “I can’t do this anymore.” Other times, I’d put him in the stroller, walking outside with tears streaming down my face, hoping the movement would lull him to sleep.

It felt like running a marathon without resources—without water, without food, without preparation. But here’s the thing: you can’t take a break from this marathon. You can’t stop running. And somehow, you keep going.

What Got Me Through

Several lifelines kept me afloat:

1. Support Systems: The incredible support from my husband was essential. My mother’s presence. Having family members who could step in, even though we still had to navigate the nights ourselves.

2. Connection: Being part of a group of mothers whose babies were born the same month helped immensely. Knowing others were experiencing sleep issues too—not everyone, but enough to remind me I wasn’t alone—gave me strength. The experience itself doesn’t change, but feeling connected within it absolutely does.

3. Hope and Solutions: Every time I reached out to someone new, tried a different technique, I found renewed hope. It wasn’t that one thing magically worked, but each attempt addressed some aspect of the challenge and gave me the strength to continue.

4. Perspective Shifts: In the middle of the night, I practised breathing deeply, holding my baby, connecting to him, and reminding myself: This is temporary. One day I might miss these moments of proximity.

Unexpected Resilience: Discovering Strength I Didn’t Know I Had

I’m surprised I survived. That’s the truth.

Before having a baby, I knew sleep was crucial for me. Sleep well, and I could conquer the world. Sleep poorly, and my mood plummeted. So imagine navigating months of severe sleep deprivation.

The capacity I discovered was the ability to still find joy and presence despite the exhaustion. I learned to stay in the moment rather than spiralling into worry about the future or ruminating on the past. And with a child, they bring you back to the present naturally.

I tried to shift my mindset as much as possible. Through mindset work, I learned to see the experience differently, which made it lighter and easier to move through. I still had beautiful moments with friends, family, my husband, my baby, and even my coaching clients. Life could still be enjoyed—not all the time, but there were many precious moments.

The revelation: I didn’t know one could be so sleep-deprived and still function. I wasn’t highly functional, but I was functioning.

That, in itself, is a testament to human resilience.

The Body’s Journey: Rediscovering Physical Strength

The Courage of Postpartum Exercise

To any mother who returns to exercising after giving birth: you are a champion. You deserve a medal!

I’ve always been someone who exercises regularly—30 minutes a day, six days a week before pregnancy. I exercised throughout my pregnancy and even on the day of labor, swimming slowly in the pool. Movement is essential for my health, well-being, and balance.

Six weeks after giving birth, I started light, adjusted postpartum exercises. And I was shocked. My body felt like it had never exercised in its life. I couldn’t recognize myself. It took immense determination, faith, and strength to continue.

I remember watching online exercise videos, thinking, “This is too hard.” That was the overwhelming feeling every time. And I realized this might be what it’s like for people who’ve never exercised and are starting for the first time.

The Context of Recovery

Consider this: you’re sleep-deprived, breastfeeding (which drains enormous energy), your body is recovering from birth (which can be traumatic in various ways), you have minimal time for yourself, and yet you’re trying to restore your health and balance.

You don’t have the best pillars to support you, and you still try. That’s heroic.

My relationship with my body transformed through this recognition. I developed profound compassion for what my body had accomplished and what it was continuing to do every single day.

Identity Shift: Letting Go to Become

The Productivity Trap

About six or seven months into motherhood, I felt deeply unproductive. As someone who runs a coaching and healing arts business—someone who had been self-employed for over six years, constantly creating, producing, achieving—this feeling was disorienting.

Social media amplified this struggle. Seeing friends, colleagues, and other coaches announcing achievements and promotions, I started comparing myself. “Wow, I’m not productive. I’m not moving forward in my life.” This comparison trap is something many of my clients experience—feeling like they’re not where they “should be” at their age or stage of life.

Here’s what changed everything:

After visiting my parents and finally getting some solid sleep support, I started feeling more like myself again. That sensation of recognising myself was stunning. I realised I hadn’t felt like myself for months, possibly since before pregnancy.

Suddenly, clarity struck: “Gloria, how can you judge yourself? You completely forgot the context.”

The ‘context’ I’d ignored?

I was judging myself for being unproductive while…

-Experiencing severe, cumulative sleep deprivation
-Learning an entirely new skill (motherhood)
-Adjusting every area of my life—my relationship, family dynamics, work, and relationship with myself
-Having someone need me constantly
-Recovering physically from pregnancy and birth

I wasn’t aware of the magnitude of change I was moving through. That’s the critical insight. The work of motherhood is invisible. The transformation is invisible. But it’s profound and all-encompassing.

The Gifts- What Emerged from the Struggle

1. Intuition Amplified
Becoming a mother gave me the perfect daily practice space for developing intuition. A baby doesn’t speak—you must tune into intuitive intelligence to understand what they need moment by moment.
My intuition, already strong from my coaching work, grew exponentially. Now I frequently experience knowing something will happen before it does—who will reach out, what question will be asked, who I’ll encounter. This intuitive intelligence is one of the highest forms of intelligence, essential for major societal shifts and discoveries.

2. Feminine Energy and Wisdom
Motherhood activated a more feminine way of moving through life. As a business owner, I’d been working to develop this quality, and motherhood accelerated the process. I learned to trust flow, presence, and intuitive guidance over pure logic and force.

3. Self-Compassion
I developed deep compassion for myself and, by extension, for all parents. I now understand viscerally what my parent clients experience. I can say with absolute certainty: If you’re a parent navigating the challenges of young children, you are a champion.

4. Self-Trust
My self-trust deepened immensely. When you’re surrounded by well-meaning advice and many confident voices telling you what to do, learning to trust yourself more than anyone else becomes essential. This is true not just in parenting but in all areas of life.

The Invisible Work We Must Value

One of my biggest takeaways is recognising how society undervalues the work of parenthood. If our culture truly celebrated and recognised what parents achieve daily, I would have seen the immense work I was doing.

The self-mastery required to be emotionally attuned to a baby while severely sleep-deprived—to be kind, present, patient—is extraordinary. The 24/7 nature of caring for someone who is 100% reliant on you is profound. Yet this work remains largely invisible and unrecognised.

My commitment: Through my work, including the New Mother’s Oracle deck I’m creating, I want to contribute to changing this. But it also starts with us, as mothers and parents, recognising and celebrating our own magic.

Mama Magic: The Symbol of Transformation

I created a drawing called “Mama Magic“* that captures the essence of what I learned. It features a heart at the centre—representing love, where everything grows. From the heart emerges a tree with plants that look like flames, symbolising the babies, the life, the aliveness we birth and nurture.

We are the connection between earth and sky, between the unincarnated souls and embodied life. We literally give birth and give life.

That is true magic.

I had this drawing embroidered on a t-shirt so mothers can celebrate themselves and remember their incredible impact on the world, even in moments of exhaustion. It’s a reminder: even when you don’t feel great, you are magic in action.

*‘Mama Magic’ as seen below- gaze at the art, breathe it in, see how it feels within your body, and let me know what it brings up within you.

Conclusion – Reflections for Your Own Journey

Whether you’re a mother, about to become one, or navigating any transformative life experience, I invite you to reflect on these questions:

– What was your darkest hour this year, and what got you through it?

– What surprised you about your own resilience? What capacity did you discover that you didn’t know was there?

– How has your relationship with your body transformed?

– Who did you have to let go of being, and what emerged in that space?

– When did you finally allow yourself to receive support? What made it possible, and what was hard about it?

– Can you describe a moment when love felt so big it almost frightened you?

– What medicine did you embody this year?

– If this year had a title, what would it be?

– What symbol represents your journey?

The Integration: Making Meaning from Experience…

Taking time to reflect on and integrate our experiences is essential. We need to see who we’ve been, recognise the learnings, and identify the gifts we’ve developed.

This allows us to truly integrate wisdom and use it moving forward.

These experiences don’t just happen to us—they become part of who we are. They shape how we move through the world and how we can help others. For me, this first year of motherhood planted countless seeds.

Many times I wanted to write about my experiences to help others, but didn’t have the time or energy… Now, I’m finally sharing these fruits, and I hope they nourish you on your journey!

My Final Thoughts: ‘Remember… always… check your full context‘

If you’re feeling a certain way about yourself right now, unproductive, stuck, not where you “should be,” pause and check the deeper context of what is going on in your life at the moment:

-Are you supported or isolated?

-What’s your energy level?

-What expectations are you placing on yourself?

-What’s happening in your life that may not be visible but is still moving and changing you?

Many things may be evolving within you that aren’t visible to the outside world yet. They may not be the things you expected. But they are real, valuable, and transformative… I promise you that.

You are magic in action! Even when, especially when, you can’t see it yourself.

Thank you for listening to this episode of the ‘Inner Space Podcast’ with me, Gloria Jensen.

Please consider subscribing for more episodes exploring authenticity, sensitivity, and finding your unique path through life’s waves.