Today, Stephan Boschat gives us his vision of giftedness through the Gifted Interview. Thank you, Stephan! He is an explorer of life*. Stephan lives in France between Mérignac, a village in Ariège, and the lake of Hourtin, in his head and his body.
*Author/entrepreneur, scriptwriter, company director, project initiator, and structurer, fulfilled father and husband, permanent questioner of meaning, exalted, creator, and optimizer of solutions: How do you answer such a question (activity/profession)?
.IF I COULD CHOOSE, WOULD I STILL BE GIFTED?
It wouldn’t even occur to me.
.WHAT (MY OWN) GIFTEDNESS MEANS TO ME
To have a visceral need to enjoy everything life has to offer and above all to love and be loved!
.IF I HAD TO CHOOSE AN IMAGE OR A KEYWORD THAT SUMS UP WHAT GIFTEDNESS MEANS
.HOW LONG HAVE I KNOWN ABOUT IT?
I’ve known it for about 4 years. The year I turned 45.
I went to see a speech therapist. She detected a stammering syndrome in me. A neighbor of stuttering. The words or syllables overlap because the ideas want to come out too quickly. The realisation was accompanied by other factors. This professional suggested that I take an interest in the subject of Giftedness (when I thought I had ADD).
.WHAT PHASES HAVE I GONE THROUGH SINCE MY DISCOVERY?
Denial. Exploration. Testing. Rejection. Conviction. Alignment.
.HOW DO I EXPLAIN IT TO SOMEONE WHO HAS NEVER HEARD OF IT?
I tell my story.
.THE REMARK WHICH BLEW ME AWAY MOST WHEN I TALKED ABOUT IT
“That’s why I often reproached you for not being logical! “
.HOW IT CHANGED MY LIFE (TO KNOW IT)
I understood what my own frame of reference was. So I stopped struggling to adapt to the imposed frame of reference and continued to create my own.
.WHAT I HAVE ALLOWED MYSELF TO DO EVER SINCE
I allow myself to dream and to preserve my own interests.
I realised that I was alone at the wheel of my vehicle and that I could press the accelerator. At my own pace.
I allow myself to accept that my pace is not that of others and above all that I do not have to rely on others to suggest (or worse, impose) the right tempo.
.WHAT IT CREATES TO OTHERS WHEN I TALK ABOUT IT
A sort of obviousness.
I talk about it very little. I’ve only spoken about it to people close to me. It arouses curiosity. For some people, it raises questions and is often taken for granted by those who know the subject or who know me well. I am ‘afraid’ of provoking negative reactions by talking about it, worried about jealousy and the looks of those who would find me pretentious. Fear of suffering from the gaze of others. And at the same time, I want to assume this difference that has made me suffer a little all my life through the eyes of others.
.WHAT IRRITATES ME WITH GIFTEDNESS
This deep awareness that everything is absurd and that it is necessary to give an existential meaning to this life.
That the term is overused. That the word in itself does not make it possible to understand what it is about. That it gives the impression that one is a coward if one exposes it.
In fact, it is rather the word ‘gifted’ that is at issue (NB from Gloria: in French “surdoué” induces the word “above”). I find it easier to define myself in opposition to the norm. And at the same time, it still implies putting yourself in a box.
I’m bothered by the fact that it seems like another way of categorising people because it simplifies the understanding of things. It’s reassuring, no doubt. But this word itself, “having a gift” is valid for everyone. Everyone is gifted at something. For many things.
.WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO EMPHASIZE ABOUT GIFTEDNESS
I would like to see it as a symbol of unfailing positivism.
.WHAT I PERSONALLY FIND TO BE THE MOST DIFFICULT
To accept the idea that you create your own limits.
The most difficult thing is the sometimes absurd emotional outbursts. Those needs to go screaming or crying alone in your room like a child because one of your children may have forgotten to give you a kiss before going to school or for a whole bunch of other trivial reasons. It’s crazy, and at the same time, it’s so alive.
.WHAT I PERSONALLY LOVE
The mountains to climb.
Working in a team with people who understand and know how to interact with each other, putting their egos aside.
.MY WELLBEING TOOL OR PRACTICE THAT HELPS ME MOST
Outdoor sports activities and festive moments with friends.
.A MISREPRESENTATION THAT I WANT TO CALL INTO QUESTION
There are no gifted people above the others.
There are simply two main families of functioning, one more frequent than the other. One more typical than the other.
A gifted person is not superior and is not capable of feeling superior. He·She is different from the norm and will be able to complement it all the more if he is given the space to exploit all his talents. Otherwise, he will have to learn to take his·her place in order to survive.
.WHAT I WANT TO SAY TO GIFTED PEOPLE
Don’t let yourself be imprisoned by the codes imposed by our society. Your real limits will always be higher than those you will always impose on yourself.
And above all, surround yourself. Be well supported. Delegate (with kindness, always) and free yourself!
.WHAT I WANT TO SAY TO PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT CONCERNED
The same thing in reverse. Don’t be intransigent, listen to the difference. Don’t say to yourself “he’s stupid, not logical, talks too fast, incomprehensible, has a too complex background, has too many crazy ideas, sees too far ahead…”. Know how to identify these types of individuals who are different from you and do not reject them. They can be a great asset for joint projects. They can be great adventurers. You just don’t want to restrict them or impose too much of a framework on them. They will try to break them, run away or otherwise wither away.
.WHAT I WOULD RECOMMEND TO SOMEONE WHO IS WONDERING
Well, it’s incredible to be able to question yourself. If you wonder, dig.
I would never have asked myself the question if I hadn’t been confronted with it, if I hadn’t been told that I was outside the norm and if a number of incredible (even improbable) factors hadn’t combined to push me towards it. I was convinced that everyone was the same. And all it took was for me to read a book on the advice of a professional and to put my family and friends to the test of the main characteristics of a gifted person for everyone to know how to position themselves with nameless simplicity. Frankly, this book has been the basis of all my efforts. Accompanied by many professionals. Since then, I have been transformed in the space of 4 years.
.THE MISTAKE NOT TO MAKE FOR A GIFTED PERSON
Not trying to adapt your behaviour to what others seem to expect from you.
.MY PROFESSIONAL ADVICE FOR GIFTED
Trust yourself and ignore good advice. You already have all the tools to assess the risks. Procrastinate if you want. But do what you like. Take action. Ask yourself all the existential questions you need to. But set the world in motion around you. In any direction you want. It will never go too fast anyway. Don’t let others set the pace for you. You will never be better than when you decide things when you choose.
If I had one word of advice: act.
.MY PERSONAL ADVICE FOR GIFTED
Respect each other’s rhythm and way of functioning. Give love.
.A BOOK TO READ ON THE SUBJECT
It became obvious to me when my wife told me when she read the summary at the end: “Yes, you are exactly like that. I’m not at all. “And she didn’t know what the book was about.
NB from Gloria: Stephan read one of the classical books in French around giftedness, like (in English) Mary-Elaine Jacobsen “The Gifted Adult – A Revolutionary Guide for Liberating Every Day Genious”.
.MY OPINION ABOUT THE IQ WAIS TEST
A complement to other tools. It is not the Holy Grail. Be careful to do it in optimal conditions. My experience on the subject shows the limits and even the destructive aspects of it.
.IS IT A WASTE NOT TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE GIFTED?
It’s probably a waste to know it too late. Probably if you don’t feel good in your life.
.WHEN I MEET ANOTHER GIFTED PERSON, DO I RECOGNIZE HIM·HER? BY WHAT?
I don’t think I recognise all the gifted people I meet. I can suspect them by talking to them a bit. I think it’s more in the difference with the norm, with typical people, that I quickly recognise people who are actually atypical.
Those who are bored by banal conversations or who are quick to get excited about existential subjects, who know how to go from one thing to another to support reasoning. Those who have varied backgrounds and do many different things in their lives.
.WHAT DO GIFTED PEOPLE HAVE IN COMMON?
I think it’s the fact that they are involved in something meaningful. With a common cause, you can move mountains.
.WHAT ARE THE CRUCIAL STEPS NOT TO BE MISSED IN A GIFTED PERSON’S JOURNEY”?
Listen to your body.
.THE LAST THING I LEARNED ON THE SUBJECT (THAT I’D LIKE TO SHARE)
That there are other people who see us as mutants.
.A GIFTED INSPIRATION FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY
I don’t travel enough.
.A WISH FOR THE FUTURE
That humanity accepts itself in its full diversity.
To live collective adventures with other HP.
To live more than 120 years.
To become an explorer of life at 200%
.AN INTUITION ON THE SUBJECT
We still know nothing about man and his universe. I am convinced that the limits we impose on ourselves are only related to the belief imposed by our condition limited by our senses and the principle of known existence.
Man has no limits. Only our perception is limited. I have only the limits I want to impose on myself.
.WHO WOULD I LIKE TO HAND OVER THE QUESTIONNAIRE?
.THE QUESTION THAT I WAS MISSING BUT THAT I WOULD LIKE TO ANSWER?
“Why is it not essential to read the answers to these questions? “
Because life is short, every minute counts and if we want it to make sense, we have to enjoy, feel, explore each moment as if it were our last.