Today, Pierre Stanghellini shares his vision of giftedness through the Gifted Interview. Thank you, Pierre! He is a Consultant living between Bordeaux and Hong Kong.
.WHAT (MY OWN) GIFTEDNESS MEANS TO ME
My giftedness, if I have to explain it, is a brain that always goes very, very fast, sometimes even too fast; a constant analysis of its environment; an exacerbated perception of feelings, emotional hypersensitivity, ability to analyse and conclude on very fast situations, very big anxiety when things are done slowly.
.IF I HAD TO CHOOSE AN IMAGE OR A KEYWORD THAT SUMS UP WHAT GIFTEDNESS MEANS
To feel that life around me is in Slow Motion. Like the scene of collecting license plate information in Zootopia, with FLASH, the lazy guy behind the counter.
.HOW LONG HAVE I KNOWN ABOUT IT?
Since I am 28 years old.
.WHAT PHASES HAVE I GONE THROUGH SINCE MY DISCOVERY?
Denial, incomprehension, surprise, acceptance, mastery of these abilities, and the development of this sense to make real assets in my career.
.HOW DO I EXPLAIN IT TO SOMEONE WHO HAS NEVER HEARD OF IT?
With simple words. I’m not gifted, I’m just a bit atypical. I quickly come to the conclusion of a problem. I “feel” people. And if, after this little introduction, I see that they connect and that they are able to understand more, I develop. Otherwise, I put on a mask of normality.
.THE REMARK WHICH BLEW ME AWAY MOST WHEN I TALKED ABOUT IT
“Don’t you feel like you’re showing off and getting a bit arrogant?”
.HOW IT CHANGED MY LIFE (TO KNOW IT)
It gave me confidence in myself and my difference from others.
It gave me answers to questions that I had had for years and where I couldn’t find information.
And finally, it calmed me and the energy boiling inside me. Now I know how to channel and direct it.
.WHAT I HAVE ALLOWED MYSELF TO DO EVER SINCE
Assume my analyses and my views on situations. Accept certain behavioural traits that are a little out of line with the norm. Assume my professional choices and my passions.
.WHAT IT CREATES TO OTHERS WHEN I TALK ABOUT IT
Before I talk about it, I quickly check if the person in front of me is able to understand what I am going to say. And to accept this notion of difference. Beforehand I talked about it very freely to everyone. But this has led to unfair and unfounded answers. Not everyone is able to understand this notion of difference and to accept it in their reasoning.
.WHAT IRRITATES ME WITH GIFTEDNESS
Not much, I admit.
.WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO EMPHASIZE ABOUT GIFTEDNESS
That it is a fabulous wealth for the society in which we live. And that this notion of giftedness should be discussed and communicated in society in a freer and lighter way. Having gifted people in French society is an added value for the country that has yet to be exploited.
.WHAT I PERSONALLY FIND TO BE THE MOST DIFFICULT
Daily life with others, and acceptance of my difference.
And accepting that things are not always at the same pace as me.
.MY WELLBEING TOOL OR PRACTICE THAT HELPS ME MOST
➢To channel my energy regularly, running is an extraordinary thing. I do it two or three times a week when the weather permits.
➢ Practising board sports, such as skimboards in the summer.
➢ Music, listened ideally loud with good speakers, or when the clubs are open, on a dancefloor.
.A MISREPRESENTATION THAT I WANT TO CALL INTO QUESTION
The gifted are not only math geeks with big glasses, introverted, lousy at sports. There are as many types of gifted people as there are colours in the rainbow.
.WHAT I WANT TO SAY TO GIFTED PEOPLE
Get to know yourself, discover yourself. Learn to accept yourself in your difference. And make it a weapon of differentiation in our world.
.WHAT I WANT TO SAY TO PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT CONCERNED
Welcome these differences with heart and curiosity. Gifted people are not more or less good than you, they are just different.
.WHAT I WOULD RECOMMEND TO SOMEONE WHO IS WONDERING
She.He should get information online, contact professionals, especially coaches specialised in Giftedness, and follow through with her.his efforts. It may be emotionally difficult, but it’s so much worth it.
.THE MISTAKE NOT TO MAKE FOR A GIFTED PERSON
Try to behave like a normal person. And finally, try to mimic an attitude to “fit in”. In the short term, it can help, in the long term, it is murderous.
.MY PROFESSIONAL ADVICE FOR GIFTED
With the complexity of competition, markets and the digitalisation of activities, the professional world needs more and more atypical profiles. Some companies are more advanced than others in detecting these profiles and welcoming them. It is towards these structures that we need to move closer.
It is important to put part of one’s giftedness at the service of one’s professional career. This will give an undeniable competitive advantage to a gifted person, so it is a potential for professional fulfilment.
.MY PERSONAL ADVICE FOR GIFTED
This can be the hardest part. The hypersensitivity of certain types of atypical people like me, for everyday interaction that’s a bit rock ‘n’ roll.
That’s why it’s important to find someone who can understand and accept these differences. Because not everything is difficult. Once two people have found each other and are in tune, it can be even more profound emotionally.
.A BOOK TO READ ON THE SUBJECT
I haven’t read many books about it. I have only seen one, it was provided to me by my psychiatrist. It is called “too smart to be happy” (French*). A very good basis when you want to be able to put words to feelings.
*NB from Gloria: for an English Book: Mary Elaine Jacobsen – “The Gifted Adult – A Revolutionary Guide for Liberating Every Day Genious”
.IS IT A WASTE NOT TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE GIFTED?
I wouldn’t say it’s a waste. I would say it is a risk for that person. Because gifted people have a statistically greater propensity to excess, whether it be an addiction, pathology, or even emotional fragility.
So a gifted person, who doesn’t know it, is a “time bomb for himself.herself and his.her loved ones”, in the words of my coach Fabrice Micheau.
.WHEN I MEET ANOTHER GIFTED PERSON, DO I RECOGNIZE HIM.HER? BY WHAT?
It may be the way he.she communicates, the way he.she presents his.her ideas, his.her flow of words, his.her behavioural rhythm (body language), his.her look or the way his.her eyes move, in particular.
.WHAT DO GIFTED PEOPLE HAVE IN COMMON?
A feeling that everything is possible when we are together, a perception that we can be a little more ourselves at a certain moment.
.A HUNCH ON THE SUBJECT
This issue will become a higher priority in terms of management, recruitment and business support for the next 20 years.
.THE QUESTION THAT I WAS MISSING BUT THAT I WOULD LIKE TO ANSWER?
Are you happy now that you know a little more about how you function?
This discovery of my giftedness saved my life 13 years ago. It has eased several personal torments. I am now a new person, and that is priceless.
It has also allowed me to discover extraordinary people who have had, and for some of them are still, a big part of my life today. It is as if I have gone from silent cinema to 3D cinema.